one might say we're banned from that church
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
