meet me or not, i'm out of control
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
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