I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
