so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Randomize
