Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
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