That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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