he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
