Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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