don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
she told me i tasted like america
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I enjoy the company of your penis
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
