Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize
