Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
