i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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