Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
