I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize
