I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Randomize
