Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
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