gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
