Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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