I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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