the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Randomize
