JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Randomize
