he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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