Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Come see our sink grown plant.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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