Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
