So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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