Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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