so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
