haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Randomize
