hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
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