so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
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