what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
