Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Randomize
