Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
