I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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