Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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