I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
