I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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