I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Dignity is for republicans.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Randomize
