just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
