I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
