all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
