I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Why did my mother make you get naked?
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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