gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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