ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize