Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
