i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
someone owes me an orgasm
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Randomize
