you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
