i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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