I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
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