he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Best friends brother. Beat that.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
