I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
