"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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