So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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