So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
In other news, I just burned my penis
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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