oh god the rape fog is back!
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Randomize
