i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
My ATM looks so different sober.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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