i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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