All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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