it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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