Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
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