bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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