my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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